Paying it Forward - An Article Written in the Town Common
The following post is an article found in the December 25, 2008 Tantasqua Town Common. It was written by Matthew Bernat, of Turley Publications.
During J.T. Mills tenth birthday celebration, all the things you’d find at a typical adolescent lazer tag party were there: Food, fun and 13 of J.T.’s closest friends. But the only gift in sight was – that’s the thing, there were no gifts in sight.All of J.T.’s birthday loot - $260 in checks and cash – went to the Residential Energy Assistance for Seniors Foundation (REAS).
For some local families, deciding to skip the traditional birthday ritual of accepting gifts is part generosity lesson and part first line of defense against an ever mounting pile of toys that threaten to overtake free space. It’s an experiment where guests are asked to donate money or items to a charity chosen by their child. But it’s not that different from adults (who are not wanting) whose only request is attendance at birthday parties,anniversaries and other celebrations.
Now children are getting in on the act. J.T.’s mother, Lynn Mills, said she got the idea to go “gift free” two years ago from a next-door neighbor. Instead of asking for gifts canned goods were sought Paying it forward and then donated.
“I suggested it to him and he said ‘sure.’ It made me feel proud he was willing to do that and help others,” Lynn said. She prepared a list of local charities and let J.T. decide which one would receive the donations. He picked the REAS Foundation, which was formed earlier this year. Its goal is to keep area seniors warm through local grants that are used to pay heating bills.
REAS wasn’t the only group to benefit from a “gift-free” birthday this year. In September, 10-year-old Tyler Main, of Sturbridge, told his mother Lori that instead of asking his guests for gifts, he wanted them to bring items to be donated to the Second Chance Animal Shelter in East Brookfield.
Tyler got the idea after a classmate did the same the year before. Instead of asking for money Tyler went to the shelter’s website, pencil in hand, and jotted down a list of items Second Chance was asking for.That list made it onto invitations and his 10 guests arrived with donations of money - $60 worth – and many more items needed by the shelter, such as pet food and toys.
“I really love animals and thought it’d be nice to help the animals out. I really don’t need [toys] anymore,” Tyler said.
His altruism has even influenced his mother. “And now I’m volunteering once a week at the shelter,” Lori said.“I think its great. Kids need this these days.”
There are parents who might balk at the idea. A birthday should only be about the child, right? The key is to involve the birthday boy or girl in the process from start to finish.
If you are considering throwing a charitable birthday party,keep these tips in mind:
- Talk about a party that will not only be enjoyable, but also help others. The idea is to get your child enthusiastic about the celebration and the spirit of giving.
- Make sure the party is still about your child and the “fun”element is kept.
- Keep in mind your child’s interest and research projects that you could do together.
- Allow your child to make the final decision on what charity to support.
- Get information beforehand from the charity your child has asked to support and provide it to guests in advance.
- Think of how best to invite your guests to give: an invitation beats an outright request for money.